


I Know Him So Well

by betweenacts



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-10-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 11:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betweenacts/pseuds/betweenacts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can know someone as well as you know yourself and have your paths turning away from one another. But sometimes they cross again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I hardly knew them

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Bit Like Shakespeare](https://archiveofourown.org/works/437935) by [dreamerbee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerbee/pseuds/dreamerbee). 



> This fic is a sequel for Bee's [ Bit Like Shakespeare](http://archiveofourown.org/series/21250) universe. You should go read it first.

There was a part of Catherine that had always been dreading this day.  In the UK you always end up crossing paths with all the actors at some point, in some level, and their paths were bound to cross again.

When her agent called, to tell her about the invitation, she almost said no, but thought about how maybe it would be good, to get back to seeing him, clean her closet and make more room in her mind and heart. She loved Twig, but a piece inside of her always tried to sabotage her relationships, and all because of **him**.

She took a deep breath as she smoothed down her dress. The first time in six years she would see him would be in a wedding dress, it was as if fate was rubbing salt in old wounds.

Since it was a half an hour shoot this time, Twig and Erin went with her. She walked in and saw him. He didn’t look one day older; nothing was different except his hair. Her instinct almost drove her to move closer to him and tug his hair just for the hell of it.

David had thrown everything that was on the table in his trailer on the floor when he found out. He wanted to call Sophia, but knew he wouldn’t want to explain why he needed to talk to her. 

He felt guilty, and every time he got a little more serious in his relationships he would ask the girl for marriage; it didn’t need to be lasting, he just needed to know before ten years kicked in and needed to know whoever he would be left with one day. It’s not that he wasn’t over her, of course he was.

He was shooting with Billie earlier and now he was alone in the TARDIS console room waiting for her to come in, wearing a wedding dress. He gave out a bitter laugh and remembered no one knew about them.

He could recall as clear as day when he first saw her show on BBC; he felt emotional, and if he was honest he shed a few tears for her.  He always mentioned it to everyone he knew, talking about how brilliantly hilarious it was. Everyone agreed, and only her mother had looked at him with a serious and sad look and hugged him fiercely.

And now here it was, the time he knew would come sooner or later; their professional paths were crossing.

She walked in and he lost his breath. She looked so beautiful; he wondered if that was the way she would look in the wedding that would never happen. He punched the console as hard as he could without being noticed.

The shooting went smoothly and when the director shouted ‘cut’, Russell walked in the set to introduce them.

“David, this is Catherine. Catherine, this is David.” He said.

Catherine offered her hand for him to shake and he took it, holding it a beat too long. Erin went running to her mother. “We eat now, mum?”

“You are making it sound like I don’t feed you,” she said, hugging her daughter closer.

He looked at the child and his heart dropped achingly to his stomach, drowning him in feelings and thoughts he shouldn't have- such as how she would be ginger if she was his.

“Aren’t you going to introduce yourself to the Doctor?” Catherine said, petting her daughter’s head.

“I’m Erin,” she said smiling, and he smiled at her, kneeling to be closer to her eye level.

“And I’m David. Nice to meet you.” He said, taking her little hand in his and shaking it. She giggled and buried her face in her mother’s legs.

Twig approached them to take Erin in his arms. He raised his hand for David to shake “Twig,” he said.

“David”, he answered, his mouth going dry.

“We’ll wait for you on the parking lot, ok?” Twig said before kissing Catherine.

Catherine hated public displays of affection, always did, which was why she didn’t understand why Twig had done it. There was no way he could know, was there?

Except, of course Twig knew him. Twig knew him out of moving things from one house to another and a box of things Catherine never talked about.

Catherine turned to leave, but David held her wrist and pulled her closer to him. “Who is he? Your husband,” he whispered in her ear, making her shiver.

“I’m not the marrying kind, David.” She answered simply before being able to escape from him.

“In two weeks I’ll see you, dear. We could have a dinner to talk about the script since you can’t be here for the table reading,” Russell said catching her on her way out.

“That’d be perfect, Russell.” She smiled flatly and left.

She couldn’t remember what drove her to say yes. He couldn’t remember what drove him to suggest her to Julie.

Two weeks went by fast; David was fiddling with his colorful tie, sitting at their table, when she arrived. Julie and Russell weren’t there yet. She pondered turning back and leaving, but knew he’d already seen her.

She walked as slowly as she could, taking deep breaths. She thought about how to greet him- how could she greet someone who mattered so much and became no one?

But he was the one to talk first, as always. “ _Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania._ ”

There was a part of her that wanted to smile, that wanted to quote back. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Astrology confirmed the truth about her; she would always keep everything inside for a long time. Resentments and agonies would make a home out of her soul and she couldn’t pretend they weren’t there.

“I don’t think I can do it…” she said, never sitting. She looked over her shoulder to see if Russell or Julie were coming.

“You don’t think you can do what?” He looked at her but didn’t see her; instead, he saw a girl on the street as the rain poured down. He saw the past as he looked at her, because he didn’t know the present, he didn’t know this woman at all.

“I don’t think I can pretend I don’t know you.” She admitted.

“And why is that?” He gave her an ironic smile.

“It was nine years, David.”

“I thought it was seven.”

“Stop it.” She glared at him.

“ _I do desire we may be better strangers_.” He said, quoting again.

“We didn’t start with Shakespeare, you know.”

“What?”

“Shakespeare quoted Marlowe in ‘As You Like it'… ‘ _What we behold is censured by our eyes. / Where both deliberate, the love is slight: / Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?_ ’ That’s Christopher Marlowe,” she told him, and he smiled a watery smile.

“David Tennant.” He raised his hand and she finally sat as she shook the offered hand.

“Catherine Tate,” she answered with a sad smile. 


	2. I relax, she smiles

And so it came to pass that the shooting of Doctor Who started. For David, the great blessing was having Sarah Parish around. Sarah was a great friend he made along the way.

He was ready to work with Catherine; he had been ready since he started dating someone who was working with Catherine – it was really a surprise that it took them so long to meet again.

It was odd having her there, so close. He didn’t miss her, most days in fact he didn’t remember her, but then someone would mention Astrology or Frankie Goes to Hollywood and his memory would cheat him and take him into a maze of things he avoided thinking about.

It was irritating having him so close she could touch him. She missed him in little moments, like when she went to the theatre or when she heard a new song, especially by Coldplay. They had made a bet when they heard ‘Yellow’ on the radio- he said Coldplay would be famous and she laughed. It all ended in a bet, and there were other things that made her heart ache if she thought about them too much.

During the first days of shooting, when they had time off, David would spend it inside his trailer talking with Sarah while Catherine would spend it talking with Russell or Julie.

They were both very professional, always polite and trying to crack jokes around each other; everyone laughed except the one they were trying to make smile.

They were about to finish shooting the inside shoots and soon they would have to travel to different locations and standing in June’s sun in heavy clothes.

Catherine was passing by, going to talk to Russell when David grabbed her wrist. “I thought we promised to try.”

“We are trying; I can’t become best friends with someone I just met. That doesn’t happen, David.”

“But we know each other!”

“David, you are not a Gemini to be all up and down like that!”

He groaned. “You are still into that?”

“Yeah, and you are still a selfish prick. The world doesn’t revolve around you, David. Maybe if you tried a little less it would make it easier on both of us.” She pulled her arm away and left his side.

“What… What do you mean,” he screamed after her.

The fact is, David wanted to have his Catherine back and at the same time, he didn’t. He wanted the companionship, the jokes, the years back, but he didn’t want his girlfriend back because he knew he couldn’t have that, not now or ever. The problem was he didn’t know how to detach one thing from the other.  His girlfriend was his best friend, they would fight over popcorn and she would refuse to kiss him if he still tasted like sweet popcorn.

Catherine wanted distance from David. She wanted to be able to forget him, exorcise him from her soul, and detoxify her memories of him once and for all. And yet, she didn’t want to let go of nine years of her life. Nine perfect years, where the fights were constant but over movies and hair pulling customs. She wanted to be able to trust someone with her weird quirks and know they wouldn’t run away. She loved Twig, and that was it, but she would never truly be herself around him for some reason she couldn’t pinpoint.

They were on the roof of some random location in Cardiff, Catherine re-reading her script and David being a queen bee-like persona. They went through the scene once, twice, uncountable times.

“And now we are finally onto the close shots!” Paul screamed.

“You said it with so much joy that I thought you were saying we were going lunch-break.” Catherine said in a flat tone.

“Never hope too much, Catherine,” David told her.

“Catherine, if you keep acting like that we will think you hate David,” Paul said laughing at his own ‘joke’.

“For all you know, maybe I love him.” She didn’t know what made her say that, in a mock voice that reminded her of one of her character’s voices, but she was glad she did.

She looked over to David- he had hollowed his cheeks and was fanning himself with an invisible fan.  Her face broke in a smile, a huge, beaming smile.

And then, they both realized: they couldn’t really re-start, forget the past and begin anew. They had stories, magic and love letters they shared and there was no point denying that. It would only work if they acted upon at least some of their memories, and most of all, the private jokes.

They both started laughing and everyone else was completely oblivious as to why they had.


	3. When no armies stood, my land was born

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for character death.

The remaining of the shooting was like a High School reunion - if High School reunions were good. They fell into a comfortable routine of bouncing off of each other’s energy.

It was comfortable and, in a way, it was like coming back home.

Soon it was ending; their time shooting the special was almost over, and Catherine was sitting in David’s trailer.

David pulled up his camera and started filming her. She made him laugh, like she’d always done.  When he turned the camera off, they both fell into a comfortable silence.

“So, how are you,” Catherine asked.  It wasn’t a simple pep talk, she wasn’t even using some kind of public voice – you see, Catherine had a voice for each situation.

“I’m… You know how it is.” He wanted to tell her that they had just found out his mother had cancer; he wanted to tell her he missed her, but he could only give her silence.

“I miss you,” she said, bringing him out of his trance.

“My mom has cancer,” he blurted out.

She gasped and put her hand over her heart. A lone tear rolled down her cheek.

After that they grew even closer, because Catherine understood. Catherine had known David once upon a time, and she knew Helen. Most of all, Catherine understood his pain, for she had lost her grandmother recently.

Her grandmother had helped her mother in raising her and she was always there for Catherine. Everyone says you don’t know how much loss can hurt until you lose your mother, but in fact, people like Catherine had to go through that pain twice.

David starts visiting Catherine’s house and vice-versa, when he has some time off.

Every time he sees Erin he feels like a terrible person for resenting a little girl that has no fault at all; she is adorable, beautiful and the personification of his failures.

One day Twig was out and Catherine had been on the phone with her agent when Erin sat beside him and asked him to read her a story.

He stiffened beside her and took the book from her tiny hands.  He began to relax as she began to scoot closer to him; when he finished it she was asleep on his lap.

He stared down at her and wondered if he would ever get to know the feeling of holding a child that was his.

Everything about her was so tiny- he wondered how it had been holding her as a newborn; he also tried hard to not remember his nephew and niece because that would bring other memories back and everything just hurt so damn much.

“I’m sorry, my agent is just being…” she started to say, before she really saw the scene before her.  Her breath caught in her throat and she smiled, because there was nothing sad in seeing David holding her child, not in her eyes.

He looked up at Catherine looking just as young as her daughter. “What should I do?” It was a whisper.

“I’ll carry her to bed, love.” Old habits die hard and the term of endearment left her lips easily, like the air she breathed.

After that day, David started loving the little girl more than he thought was possible.

Suddenly it was March and it had been one year since they had come back into each other’s life and it was just… natural.

He received her call asking him to do a sketch with her and he was simply delighted.

She was dressed as a school girl and he was in his Doctor clothes.

“This is a bit kinky isn’t it,” she said with a cheeky smile, in a low voice so only he and Niky could hear.

“I’d never do it if a bloke asked me to do the school-girl role play,” Niky said.

“I would only if he knew I wouldn’t play Lauren for him.”

“Well, I’m sure you were a sexy school girl on your own right,” David said before he could stop himself. Old habits die hard, after all.  She blushed and let out a loud, fake cough.

They fell in silence before she whispered. “How is your mother?” When they were in public she refrained from saying ‘Helen’; it’d seem too intimate and they supposedly had only known each other for a year.

“You know how it is,” he answered simply, looking over at Niky.

Niky had worked with Catherine on the play that tore them apart, and he often caught himself thinking that maybe she knew, but she never said a word.

Working with Catherine on that day lifted his spirit in a way only she could do; soon she would be in his daily routine for some good number of months.

When mid-July arrived, Catherine was getting settled in by herself – Twig decided to keep living in London in order to not leave his job, and Erin stayed with him - when David knocked on her door with so much strength she thought he could’ve brought it down.

“David, are you ok, love? What happened?”

He looked like a mess. “Sh-She got… Worse. Dad, told me to…”

“Are they shifting the schedule so you can go to Scotland?”

“Yeah, they…” he stayed in silence for some minutes and she couldn’t bring herself to push him to say anything at all. When she decided maybe she should say something, he surprised her by asking, “Come with me?”

She blinked, feeling light-headed. “What?”

“Please, I can’t go by myself. Just… Come with me to Glasgow.” He looked as if he had cried for hours non-stop and was about to start all over again.

“I… David…”

“She… I’m not saying this only to make you come but,” his hands ran through his hair and let out a heavy sigh. “I told her that we were friends again a while back and… She wants to see you.”

Catherine felt like she might join him in the hours of crying.

“Sure. I’ll go with you. I can’t remember when the last time I went to Scotland was.” She was lying and they both knew it.

David had wanted to drive up to Glasgow, it was a six hour ride, but Catherine made him think better of it- he wouldn’t have anyone to drive with him, since Catherine couldn’t drive.

“Driving is good, you know? Clears up the head and all.” His accent suddenly seemed thicker.

“Not this time, love, it won’t.” She hated herself a bit for having to be the one giving the reality check. “Any news,” she asked as he fiddled with his cellphone.

“The same, Blair said they want to sedate her, but she wants to keep conscious, to keep talking…”

“She is your mum, of course she wants to keep talking.” She gave a sad laugh and looked back in the plane, to see if anyone had spotted them.

“Us together on a flight from Cardiff to Glasgow is so illogical they won’t really realize it’s us, you know.” He kept staring at his messages, waiting for the worst to come.

“I know, force of habit, really,” she said.

They stayed in complete silence for the entire flight.

When Catherine got to the McDonald’s house she shivered slightly at the knowledge they still lived in the same place.

Karen was the one to show her to her bedroom, because although Catherine knew where the guest bedroom was, she thought it was invasive to walk in there as if she still belonged to the family; not that she had ever officially belonged to it in the first place.

As Catherine settled her bag on the bed she was surprised that Karen hugged her. “We missed ye, ye know? Don’t go off and disappear again.” She had that demanding teary tone she always had.

“I will try,” was the best Catherine could promise her. 

Karen smiled and left her alone.

Catherine had in front of her all the reasons why she didn’t want to see David ever again. Every moment with him was as if she had stumbled into her past; sitting there, at his parent’s house, she wanted to cry for reasons that didn’t involve Helen, but the eminent death for the woman was what really made the tears fall.

“Dad called and said we should go to the hospital to…” David said, startling her out of her little world. He almost asked her whether she was alright, but knew the question would fall flat.

She brushed her tears away with the backs of her hands and stood. “Let’s go, huh.” She grabbed her handbag and passed him by on the door.

At the hospital, when she saw Sandy, she wanted to cry all over again. Alexander McDonald had been the closest to a father figure she’d ever had, and she had lost that when she lost David. He was looking at his shoes when he heard Catherine telling David he should go in and say Goodbye.

“She is still alive, darling.” He said looking up to them. “You chose the right time to come back, Catherine. Even if, I don’t really care just…” his speech pattern had turned the same as a David’s the night before.

She stood there beside him, neither saying anything for a while.

David went into the bedroom and talked with his mother; Catherine couldn’t bring herself to look through the window.

“You are family, even if you are not dating David. Don’t you ever forget that,” he told her.

She took the opportunity to finally hug him.

“Cath,” she heard David say near her, this was the first time he called her that since they had met. “She…She wants to see you.”

When Catherine walked into the room by herself, she felt as if she was walking into the Twilight Zone.

“You are really back, aren’t ye?”

“We are not…” her throat was suddenly too dry.

“Oh honey, I know.” Helen’s voice was distant and small. Catherine went closer to the bed and Helen took the opportunity to hold her hand. “When was the last time you came to Scotland?”

“Since… the christening, you and Sandy started visiting us in London so we didn’t…”

"I was young once, ye know? I always wanted to tell ye I knew quite well what was going on up in that loo, but ye wer always so shy and I never got the chance."

With the little strength she had left, Helen started reminiscing about things she remembered about Catherine; Catherine wondered how many people had been on her end of this conversation.

“He is a good boy, our Dave.”

“Not really mine, but he is a ‘good boy’ for sure.”

“Knowing him he’ll end up marrying the first woman he knocks up.” Mrs. McDonald said nonchalantly. Catherine laughed bitterly realizing how possible that was.

“He will end up hurting himself badly, worse than when you left and… I won’t be here, will I?”

“Don’t…” she tried to stop Helen from continuing, but she did anyway.

“Promise me you will take care of him.” She said holding Catherine’s hand. “You are the only person I know really would.”

“I promise,” Catherine said with a knot on her throat which she tried to swallow in vain.

Helen died on July 15th, and David had to go back to film the rest of the special. He never hated his profession so much. You have to entertain people, and there is little time to just be when you are the one taking people away from their daily lives.

When you lose someone that has been part of your life forever, a part of them stays with you. It’s like leaving your country, you cross over borders but you are still there and it’s still in you.

**Author's Note:**

> I **will** finish this fic, don't be afraid.


End file.
